I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked the question “How long will it take to get my ex back?”. That is like asking ‘What happens when we die”. No one on planet earth can answer that question not even the most intelligent and experienced people know.
When we try to make love work in a specific way, time and sequence it is most likely to backfire. The biggest lesson that you can learn is that you cannot make love work on a schedule and you most defiantly cannot make someone love you.
You can, however, create conditions, learn skills, habits, traits or other behaviors that make love most likely to happen but when it comes down to the nitty gritty parts of love it is ultimately out of your control. This is defiantly a hard pill to swallow… I know.
I think we can all relate to the common experience of loving someone who doesn’t love us back. We would go to the depths of the earth for this person but that person won’t go the distance for us. No matter how hard we try we can’t manipulate the heart.
Sometimes the harder we try to force love to work in our favor the bigger the downfall. In most cases, all we end up doing is coming across as pushy, manipulative, controlling, desperate and needy. It is common and almost human nature to panic and do irrational things when love is taken away from us hence the expression “my crazy ex”. There have been countless Hollywood movies that revolve around this subject and I am sure you can think of a few now.
The truth of the matter is the way that you act and behave when things don’t go your way or when you don’t get what you want tells the other person what kind of person you are and how you will act in future to similar situations. When they see the pushy, manipulative and controlling side of you when things don’t go your way in a relationship do you think this will make them say “wow I for sure want to spend the rest of my life with this person”… NO it won’t help your case at all! When you react in a calm and mature manner and are able to give someone space and time when they ask for it this will indeed help your situation. This means “no contact” when someone is desperately asking for space or not bombarding someone with texts or calls.
Now let me say it again: You cannot make love work on your schedule and you cannot make someone love you especially when your motives revolve around manipulating the other person to be with you. The sooner you can accept this truth the sooner you will have the insight and are more likely that you’ll not only be able to salvage your relationship but make it last for a very long time.